Yes, I know the circumstances. Yes, I know where I'm placed. Yes, I do know you're only a friend. But, still, fuck you guy. Are you so much better than I am? I think so. I know she's lying. I know I'm jealous. I know I'm overreacting. Regardless, I do not like you.
I know this belongs somewhere else, but i felt like typing this.
I'm going to bed.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Saturday, February 7, 2009
One Thing.
Going off my previous post, I have to talk about friends for a bit.
First, a little history. I was born in Tijuana, Baja California, Mexico. Although I was born in Tijuana, I lived in small city next to that, called Tecate, like the beer. I went to the local Elementary there, I took the bus because I lived far from the school. In my neighborhood, I had about three, well, two really close friends. These were Karim, and Eduardo. I lived there until I was eight years old. My next home was here in Anaheim. My school was now Paul Revere Elementary, I joined halfway through the third grade. My first day of school, I was introduced to the class, and forced to choose a seat. It was my misfortune to sit next to someone aptly named "Stinky" Steve, a fact I was oblivious to at the time. From then on, people assumed I was "stinky" as well. that changed when I began fourth grade. I was a little bit more confident than before. Fifth and Sixth grade, I was part of G.A.T.E. and part of a combo class. Since the fourth grade, I had about three "close" friends, Kyle, Jose, and Jonathan. But that was elementary. After that, I lost touch with them.
And now, Oxford. Since I entered Oxford, the only friends I have are those I have made through the school. Since we came to the U.S. I have moved about seven or eight times around the AUHSD. Because of this, I don't make any friends outside of Oxford. My reasoning? Why bother establishing any kind of relationship with my neighbors if they won't last past that year? So yes, the only friends I have are those I have made from Oxford. When I'm home, I don't have anything to do unless my friends have something planned. I have no connection with my home, or current residence. My home is Oxford. My family resides in Oxford. This is why the friends I've made through Oxford mean so much to me, why I care about recognition, because without them, I'm nothing.
I don't know how different my life would be like with non-school friends, but it doesn't really matter. I'm happy with what I have, happy with the relationships I've established, happy with my friends, I don't think I can ask for anything better than them.
First, a little history. I was born in Tijuana, Baja California, Mexico. Although I was born in Tijuana, I lived in small city next to that, called Tecate, like the beer. I went to the local Elementary there, I took the bus because I lived far from the school. In my neighborhood, I had about three, well, two really close friends. These were Karim, and Eduardo. I lived there until I was eight years old. My next home was here in Anaheim. My school was now Paul Revere Elementary, I joined halfway through the third grade. My first day of school, I was introduced to the class, and forced to choose a seat. It was my misfortune to sit next to someone aptly named "Stinky" Steve, a fact I was oblivious to at the time. From then on, people assumed I was "stinky" as well. that changed when I began fourth grade. I was a little bit more confident than before. Fifth and Sixth grade, I was part of G.A.T.E. and part of a combo class. Since the fourth grade, I had about three "close" friends, Kyle, Jose, and Jonathan. But that was elementary. After that, I lost touch with them.
And now, Oxford. Since I entered Oxford, the only friends I have are those I have made through the school. Since we came to the U.S. I have moved about seven or eight times around the AUHSD. Because of this, I don't make any friends outside of Oxford. My reasoning? Why bother establishing any kind of relationship with my neighbors if they won't last past that year? So yes, the only friends I have are those I have made from Oxford. When I'm home, I don't have anything to do unless my friends have something planned. I have no connection with my home, or current residence. My home is Oxford. My family resides in Oxford. This is why the friends I've made through Oxford mean so much to me, why I care about recognition, because without them, I'm nothing.
I don't know how different my life would be like with non-school friends, but it doesn't really matter. I'm happy with what I have, happy with the relationships I've established, happy with my friends, I don't think I can ask for anything better than them.
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Among School Children
Even after all these years at Oxford, it seems I haven't learned proper management/studying skills. It's about to be 11, and I've yet to start on my homework. Maybe it's just myself who can't focus, who waits until the last minute, who gets easily distracted.
Last night, I spent about an hour and a half analyzing one poem for my AP Lit class. Usually, for these poems, I spent about 20 minutes tops, but this time was different. Something about this poem really struck me. I went through each stanza, trying to figure out what Yeats was trying to say, looked up Maud Gonne, Plato, Leda and the Swan just to know why he would use these items. But when it came down to discussing the poem in class, I spoke about the same amount as those who had spent 20 minutes on their analysis. Why? I didn't want to make it seem like I know more than Georgia did, who was presenting on that poem. Yes, I like attention. I love it when other people comment on something I did right because this seldom happens. I wanted Larson to appreciate how much I put into that one poem, but she did not collect them. So what did I do? I talked to her. She put my paper on her desk, said she'd take a look at it. Like I said, I like the attention.
I never thought I would admit it. I didn't really realize it until Kim pointed it out a few weeks ago. Everything I do, whether it be antics, jokes, stories is for the sake of recognition. Whether or not we will admit it or not, our group does have a chain of command in some way. It's my misfortune to be a part of a group that has so many more likable people than myself. People usually see Omar, or Jonathan as the group leaders and pay little attention to me. It's this that makes me crave recognition. I want people to know, to realize, that I'm there, that I'm not forgettable, not easily discarded , but there...
Last night, I spent about an hour and a half analyzing one poem for my AP Lit class. Usually, for these poems, I spent about 20 minutes tops, but this time was different. Something about this poem really struck me. I went through each stanza, trying to figure out what Yeats was trying to say, looked up Maud Gonne, Plato, Leda and the Swan just to know why he would use these items. But when it came down to discussing the poem in class, I spoke about the same amount as those who had spent 20 minutes on their analysis. Why? I didn't want to make it seem like I know more than Georgia did, who was presenting on that poem. Yes, I like attention. I love it when other people comment on something I did right because this seldom happens. I wanted Larson to appreciate how much I put into that one poem, but she did not collect them. So what did I do? I talked to her. She put my paper on her desk, said she'd take a look at it. Like I said, I like the attention.
I never thought I would admit it. I didn't really realize it until Kim pointed it out a few weeks ago. Everything I do, whether it be antics, jokes, stories is for the sake of recognition. Whether or not we will admit it or not, our group does have a chain of command in some way. It's my misfortune to be a part of a group that has so many more likable people than myself. People usually see Omar, or Jonathan as the group leaders and pay little attention to me. It's this that makes me crave recognition. I want people to know, to realize, that I'm there, that I'm not forgettable, not easily discarded , but there...
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