Laughing.

I think it funny how I laugh at all the people frantically e-mailing the entire class about last minute questions regarding the Geography Project. I shouldn't really be laughing, considering I too am working on it at the last minute.

What makes me laugh is the type of questions they are asking. Questions that can be easily answered by reading the assignment paper. Formatting questions. what "plotting the values means," etc.Is it really that hard to read the damn paper, or are people really this stupid?

I'm just writing this to avoid working on it anyway.

randomness: I found a new music blog that more or less fits my taste.

Sometime in the following week (if not tonight) I will be posting a short, (depending on your definition of short,) blog that hopefully should explain some things about what's been happening with me. I'll try to be as honest as I can.

stay tuned.

I don't think I've ever felt this sad before.

god that was fucking painful.

Check it out.

World Science Festival 2009: Bobby McFerrin Demonstrates the Power of the Pentatonic Scale from World Science Festival on Vimeo.

Is it bad that I click on "New Post," write about what is happening to me, then delete it? I've done it three times since my last entry. I just can't bring myself to write things down anymore.

Great fucking day.

Play Crack the Sky

I'm not a fan of writing down stories, but I do love to think about and create them.

Your tongue is a rudder
It steers the whole ship
Sends your words past your lips
Keeps them safe behind your teeth
But the wrong will strand you
Come off course while you sleep
Sweep your boat out to sea
Or dashed to bits on the reef

Today, I am fine.

Today, or rather, yesterday, was May 7th.
The AP Lit Test was only half of what I expected. I knew I would do well on the MCQ, and I did. The FRQs, on the other hand, were a different story. I spent the first forty minutes falling in and out of sleep trying to read/comprehend the first poem about Henry VIII. Forty minutes.. that's how long I have to write ONE essay. We had to do three. The next twenty minutes were spent reading the next passage and trying to understand it. Didn't work on it. I then moved on to the Open Question. Finished that. With fifteen minutes left, I went back to the Henry the VIII and just wrote whatever came to mind. I knew I wouldn't finish. Got two paragraphs done. Then an intro for the other question.

Yeah, I didn't do so hot, but you know what? I don't really care. I can never stay awake during these tests. It's not that I don't get enough sleep, it's that I get bored very easily.

I know I should care, but I really don't. Same goes for Gov, Calc, Physics, and Spanish.

Next was the track meet. The whole meet was a disaster. Whitney does not know how to run a damn track meet.

I didn't qualify for any of my jumps, only pole vault and 4x4. Pole Vault was the first event, and I did ok. I was hoping to break my own school record of 8'6, but I didn't. I was bummed out. This changed with the 4x4. I was very nervous, and like always, needed to pee. The last time we ran the 4x4 with this team was at Concordia, with .5 seconds away from the school record. I wanted this. I wanted this record so much. I was focused and gave it my all. We beat the record by 2 seconds. Fuck. Yeah. I was so stoked, damn. This made me happy, even though we got second.

Hometown afterwards to celebrate.

Real World

Writer's Block.

Need a medium, well, not really. I have nothing to say.

I did find this great link though, will probably come in handy later.

Writer's Block

Have finally found the wonders that the internet has to offer.

The sun will peek into our windows
And be surprised to find empty beds
Walls naked, our closets stripped
Of all it's threads
We will awake in a new world
Our own island
This floating mass
A jagged slab
Where bulbs burn for us until the end

Simple Video

Head Automatica - Graduation Day Music Vid with Robert Hatfield from robert Hatfield on Vimeo.

I know guy

Yes, I know the circumstances. Yes, I know where I'm placed. Yes, I do know you're only a friend. But, still, fuck you guy. Are you so much better than I am? I think so. I know she's lying. I know I'm jealous. I know I'm overreacting. Regardless, I do not like you.

I know this belongs somewhere else, but i felt like typing this.

I'm going to bed.

One Thing.

Going off my previous post, I have to talk about friends for a bit.

First, a little history. I was born in Tijuana, Baja California, Mexico. Although I was born in Tijuana, I lived in small city next to that, called Tecate, like the beer. I went to the local Elementary there, I took the bus because I lived far from the school. In my neighborhood, I had about three, well, two really close friends. These were Karim, and Eduardo. I lived there until I was eight years old. My next home was here in Anaheim. My school was now Paul Revere Elementary, I joined halfway through the third grade. My first day of school, I was introduced to the class, and forced to choose a seat. It was my misfortune to sit next to someone aptly named "Stinky" Steve, a fact I was oblivious to at the time. From then on, people assumed I was "stinky" as well. that changed when I began fourth grade. I was a little bit more confident than before. Fifth and Sixth grade, I was part of G.A.T.E. and part of a combo class. Since the fourth grade, I had about three "close" friends, Kyle, Jose, and Jonathan. But that was elementary. After that, I lost touch with them.

And now, Oxford. Since I entered Oxford, the only friends I have are those I have made through the school. Since we came to the U.S. I have moved about seven or eight times around the AUHSD. Because of this, I don't make any friends outside of Oxford. My reasoning? Why bother establishing any kind of relationship with my neighbors if they won't last past that year? So yes, the only friends I have are those I have made from Oxford. When I'm home, I don't have anything to do unless my friends have something planned. I have no connection with my home, or current residence. My home is Oxford. My family resides in Oxford. This is why the friends I've made through Oxford mean so much to me, why I care about recognition, because without them, I'm nothing.

I don't know how different my life would be like with non-school friends, but it doesn't really matter. I'm happy with what I have, happy with the relationships I've established, happy with my friends, I don't think I can ask for anything better than them.

Among School Children

Even after all these years at Oxford, it seems I haven't learned proper management/studying skills. It's about to be 11, and I've yet to start on my homework. Maybe it's just myself who can't focus, who waits until the last minute, who gets easily distracted.

Last night, I spent about an hour and a half analyzing one poem for my AP Lit class. Usually, for these poems, I spent about 20 minutes tops, but this time was different. Something about this poem really struck me. I went through each stanza, trying to figure out what Yeats was trying to say, looked up Maud Gonne, Plato, Leda and the Swan just to know why he would use these items. But when it came down to discussing the poem in class, I spoke about the same amount as those who had spent 20 minutes on their analysis. Why? I didn't want to make it seem like I know more than Georgia did, who was presenting on that poem. Yes, I like attention. I love it when other people comment on something I did right because this seldom happens. I wanted Larson to appreciate how much I put into that one poem, but she did not collect them. So what did I do? I talked to her. She put my paper on her desk, said she'd take a look at it. Like I said, I like the attention.

I never thought I would admit it. I didn't really realize it until Kim pointed it out a few weeks ago. Everything I do, whether it be antics, jokes, stories is for the sake of recognition. Whether or not we will admit it or not, our group does have a chain of command in some way. It's my misfortune to be a part of a group that has so many more likable people than myself. People usually see Omar, or Jonathan as the group leaders and pay little attention to me. It's this that makes me crave recognition. I want people to know, to realize, that I'm there, that I'm not forgettable, not easily discarded , but there...

Goodbye Sky Harbor.

Poo. Still awake. Darn Lit and Physics.

like your shoes love your hair

Didn't do anything this weekend. I don't know how I feel about this. I enjoyed not doing anything, but on the other hand, it's going to be worse for me later on. I should have studied, oh well. I really don't know how to study for Literature, we're basically going to analyze poems and do essays. Sports Medicine doesn't have a final. Physics, I should study more for this one. AP Spanish Lit is basically the same as English Lit, only no poems and much easier. Government is the one class that will own me in finals, it's also the one class I need to pass. I'm glad that final isn't until Thursday. And then there is Calculus...this one is in the bag.

A thing about Calculus. I like the class, I like the teacher, but I hate my classmates. Aside from Taylor, Mitchell, Ryan, and a few others, the class is filled with incompetent morons. I am angry with Wittman for placing me in this class. It is ridiculously easy, and I often get exasperated with the stupidity of the students in that class. I also hate how Mr. V treats us like children. He thinks we won't get the concept, granted, many don't, but he is so condescending.

I should get to sleep. rawr.

...Weary.

No, not right now, just in general.

Spent Thursday to Friday working on the Panel Discussion and my Synthesis. I know it's all my fault, but dammit, that drained me. Got to Kim's house at 6 to work on the Panel discussion, didn't finish until about 11 something. Began on my Synthesis and finished at 7 in the morning. Turned it in, showered, and left for school. I was so tired Friday. Both Synthesis and the Panel Discussions were essential to my grades in those classes, and i had to work on them simultaneously. Turning in my paper didn't feel as rewarding as I thought it would, it was rather anticlimactic really. The Panel discussion didn't go as planned either. Turns out we didn't prepare as well as she intended us to. I don't really care, At least that's over with. I think I slept about 10 hours max this week.

The game against San Juan Hills didn't go as I expected it. I thought I'd be too tired to play, but I did fine. I did, however, let in two goals. The first one I'll give to them, but the second, I should have saved. The final score was 2-2. Tuesday is our game against Brethren.

Man, Friday sucked.

Your eyes are the size of the moon.

"7 Posts, last published on Mar 9, 2008"

Hey, look at that, 10 months since I've posted on this. It really doesn't seem like it's been that long.

This needs more posts, and I'm just procrastinating.